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I have a special guest book reviewer, @judie_boroevich

"Thank you, Stephanie, for giving me a guest spot in your 52 Weeks of Cookies & Books series.⁠

I enjoy Brené Brown’s work, and I was looking forward to Atlas of the Heart, and I wasn’t disappointed.⁠

Brown’s research found that most of us will use only one of three words to describe what we are feeling: happy, sad or mad. In Atlas of the Heart, she provides us with 87 emotions we can use to more specifically describe what we are feeling, and in doing so, provides a framework for “…a common understanding of the language of emotion and human experience”.⁠

Each of the nine chapters is themed by ‘families’ of emotions.⁠

I gained many insights from reading this book and some of the most notable for me were:⁠

· Resentment is not an emotion of anger, but rather, of envy. Brown uses the example that if we see someone relaxing while we are working, and feel resentment toward them, we aren’t mad at them for resting, but rather, we are envious that they’re resting. This was thought provoking for me, and now when resentment shows up, I can now dig in and ask, what do I need to give myself more of, where is the envy coming from?⁠

· When scared or worried, Brown asks herself, “Will this issue be a big deal in five minutes? Five hours? Five days? Five months? Five years?” When worry creeps in for me (and it does!), I have started to ask these questions and it has relieved some anxiety for me.⁠

· Self-acceptance is key to belonging. Brown writes: “Because we can feel belonging only if we have the courage to share our most authentic selves with people, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” She also included research from interviews that she conducted with eighth graders, who were asked to describe the difference between ‘belonging’ and ‘fitting in’, and as one aptly described, “If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in”.⁠

I highly recommend Atlas of the Heart."⁠

-Judie Boroevich⁠

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5 Interesting insights: ⁠

Inclusifyer: To lead in a way that celebrates unique and dissenting perspectives while creating a collaborative environment where people feel they belong. We should all strive to be an "inclusifyer."⁠

The buying power of African Americans is 1.5 Trillion in 2021. What made a company money 20 years ago may not make money today. Understand your demographics and create products that are inclusive. ⁠

You process 11 million pieces of information in a second and are only conscious of about 40. That is a lot of information you are not aware of. Check your assumptions regularly and encourage others to call you in. ⁠

When men are engaged in gender inclusion programs 96% of companies see progress. Sponsorship is a key component and men are an important part to the success. ⁠

Best leaders have 2 skills in common: 1. Embrace different perspectives 2. They fit all unique pieces of a team together to create a cohesive team. The expectations of leaders today are extremely high and leaders need to be constantly up-skilling and supporting their teams.⁠

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Remember the book the Happiness project well yes that's Gretchen Rubin. Did you know we repeat about 40% of our behaviour almost daily, so our habits are really important.

If you have read Atomic Habits by James Clear it is similar except Gretchen Rubin bases her book on the four tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Rebel or an Obliger.

There is a quiz at the back of the book to see who you think you are. It reminds me a bit of a personality assessment.

I am an upholder which means I respond readily to both outer and inner expectations. For example, I wake up and think about what is on my to-do list today and I tend to like to follow rules.

Now once you know your tendency she discusses different strategies to get your habits to stick. The one strategy I really liked was the strategy of pairing. The strategy of pairing is when you couple two activities together. One that you need or want to do and one that you don't particularly want to do. Here is an example, when you walk from room to room you carry something with you. If I am walking from the bedroom to the kitchen I will bring the empty mug or book that needs to go back into the office. I really like this idea and its like you are cleaning up but not :-)

So for me I leave my clothes in one big pile on a beautiful chest that my dad made for our wedding. I am going to commit every time I go into the bedroom to put one piece of clothing away. Now I think either I will reduce the amount of time I go into my room or else I may actually reduce the clothes pile. This book provided little tips along the way on how to make your habits easier and to make them stick based on your tendency. I will let you know in a few months how this habit is going.

How many of you have read it?

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